5 Ways to Deal With Mother's Day Without Mom

Mother’s Day means joy for many, but for those of us who have lost our moms, it brings an experience that rubs salt in the wound. I lost my mom eight years ago, in early May. And one of my worst moments was when, a few days later, a cashier at the grocery store said to me “Have a Happy Mother’s Day!”

Since then, I’ve had my Mother’s Day ups and downs, but one thing is for sure: I realized that just because Mom isn’t right here with me doesn’t mean I have to stop celebrating her. Mother’s Day isn’t only for those whose mothers are here right now. Those of us who have lost our moms can still honor those incredible women who made us who we are today.

Here are a few tips for celebrating Mother’s Day – even if Mom isn’t around. 

1. Laughter is the best medicine.
My mother’s funny stories still make me laugh. So this is the perfect time to remember them and share them with those around me. Just because Mom and I can’t get together for lunch and a facial today doesn’t mean she isn’t in my heart.

2. Spend the day with someone you love.
Your child, your husband, your cat, a good friend… Make this a day to enjoy time with someone else who makes you happy. Transform this day into a celebration of the people (or pets) who make your life better on a daily basis. Or share your day with someone who is lonely. Brightening someone’s day is a sure way to take the chill out of this holiday. 

3. If you know a child who doesn’t have a mom, follow the French example…
Here in France, there are certain schools that no longer do arts and crafts for kids to bring home for Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Instead, they help the kids do craft projects for “someone I love.” The reason: More and more, children are raised in “nontraditional” families. And then there are children who have lost a parent. The thought of those poor kids having to suffer through the traditional preparation of Mother’s and Father’s Day gifts makes me cringe. So I absolutely love this way of designing a new holiday that everyone can enjoy.  

4. Stay away from social media
We love social media for lots of reasons. But if I’m feeling extra sad without my mom around and everyone else is posting selfies of themselves with their moms, it might be a good idea to take a social media break. We can still be happy that our friends are enjoying the day with their mothers without following the details on Facebook.  

5. Focus on books
One of the best ways to honor Mom? Read one of her favorite books, flip through her cookbook, read some of her old letters or emails… I have a few of my mom’s last emails to me saved. When I read them, they bring her back to life with all of her vivacity. I haven’t had a look at them in a long while. But maybe this Sunday will be the day.

Whether you spend this day with your mother or another important person in your life, I wish you a wonderful Mother’s Day…